Raising World-Changers: Our children are a gift to the world not ours to keep

Understanding our kids are a gift to the world - Not ours to keep!

Our kids are our greatest gift we can recieve over a lifetime! The crazy thing is that when we become parents, especially moms, they become our world and you have no choice but to take care of every single need and create a world that revolves around them completely. As the seasons change through toddlerhood all the way to young adulthood our role can get very confusing. I think that understanding the ebs and flows of parenting is something we defenitly need to seek out understanding on as our hearts can confuse us. 

How many things in our lives go from basically a 100% need to eventually between 2-5% in life? Not very many that is why parenting and the concepts of learning when to let go can be so difficult to do. When I say our children are a gift to the world that means what does that look like to give to the world. If we continue to parent in a way that doesnt allow them to become their own person, or learn lessons, and consequences then what type of gift are we giving to the world? 

Let me give some examples to help paint the picture of what this can look like. My son was the kiddo that defenitley forgot things (alot). As a child up to about age 13 I would compensate and show up with his things, or call the teachers, or speak to coaches when this would happen. One day he called me and I knew exactly why my phone was ringing and I had already made the decision as he would be going into highschool soon this call would be a No. This was not teaching him to be a gift to the world, this was teaching him others would always show up for him if he didnt for himself.

It's ok when they are little and we are teaching these concepts of responsiblity and accountability but I promise you Mamas that should end pretty much by 13 at the latest. This will allow you a good amount of years to allow them to feel the consequences of not stepping up and in for ourselves. This does not make them feel unloved, this is a reality of becoming your own person and growing up. 

When my oldest daughter was 16 I allowed her to start making some decisions that I was really torn on. I felt like I wanted to keep control so badly to protect her. I'd love to say she made all the best decisions and everything was great, but what I can say is she made some bad decisions and because I allowed this earlier in life they were minor and I was able to show her what the consequences would look like if she was an adult. This allowed an opportunity for her to see her choices were her choices yet so were the consequences just like for my son when he would forget things and not plan. 

My youngest daughter is always on top of her game with school, and grades, etc although she struggled to make decisions that would allow her to be happier and likely more successful if it meant leaving a school or friends. This is completely normal and expected of all of us. She attended a school that was not good for her, as we would pull up everyday I could see the anxiety blanket over her. She was told when you are ready to make a decision to allow yourself to feel better for the longterm let me know. Was this heartbreaking absolutely, was it extremely difficult not to make the decision for her 1000%. Why this is so important is I want her to be a gift to the world understanding how important decisions are and how to make them for ourselves. You're wondering if she made the decision on her own, yes she did! Are my grown children perfect people absolutely not and who is! Yet what I will say is I have an 18,21,23 yr old gifts to the world. They all live on their own, and run their lives in ways that I get asked alot how do you get them to be like that, so responsible, independent and taking accountability for their own lives! So I wrote this blog! Much love to you all and remember no one is perfect and it's a journey just remember the big picture for your gifts to the world as you make decisions!